Slide

Dear Maddie,

I think there are few things in this world that make you much happier than going down a slide.  We went to Lucky Ladd Farm today, a fun place with animals and farmy things, and you were very hard to pry away from the giant slides they had there.  Animals?  Who cares.  Educational toys?  Boring.  No, this was what made you happy...

Yes, a giant slide that required hiking up a hill to get to the start.  And of course we had to go with you, but we didn't have to go down with you.  After just one ride with Mama, you were just fine to do it solo.  Of course, we had to race, but you were fearless!

I love looks of pure joy that you give when you really are excited.  They are priceless reactions that I freeze in my mind.  Whenever I'm down, I think about how you get when you are bursting with happiness.  And it makes my day brighter.  Don't ever lose that love of life!

Love, Daddy

New Job

Dear Maddie,

Forgive the long time between posts, but I unfortunately let time get away from me far too often.  See, this past month we've been preparing for the start of the semester, trying to increase our numbers for the fall semester, and meet our goals we set this past year.  Now that has slowed down, but on the horizon is a new travel season that I have also been preparing to go on.  I know, I know, that means I'll be away again.  But - I have good news!  Daddy got a new job!

Yes, I will soon be back in town, no more road trips, and home every night to tuck you in bed.  I didn't really want to leave my old job - I loved what I did - but this was a great opportunity to move up in the school, learn something new, and increase my long-term chances of success.  So, I took it despite my fears of being able to do it and guilt for leaving my old position.  Hopefully there isn't a blog post here in about a month that says "Dear Maddie, I've been fired."

I tell you the truth though (and we'll make it our little secret, just me, you, and the Internet), you factored into the decision big time.  You and your mom are the MOST important things in the world to me.  I can replace a lot of things in this world - a job, a house, a car - but I can't replace my girls.  And more than anything, I can't turn back time.  I've tried!  In ten years when you're too big for me and a looming teenager, I'm not going to think "I really wish I would have worked more when she was a baby."  I am fairly certain that I won't wish I had spent more time on the road in hotels.  Strike that - I'm certain.

I can't get back this time with you, and it's why I'm so glad your mom isn't working right now.  Sure, we don't have a lot of money.  We don't get to do fancy vacations and new cars.  But how cool is it that we have the opportunity for you to spend your first several years of life with your mom at home?  I hope you appreciate that later in life.  I only wish we had been able to let your mom quit her job sooner!

And that is why I can't wait to get off the road again and back home every night.  Growing up, your Paw Paw traveled to provide for me, Gigi, and Uncle Greg.  I know if he had the choice, he would have been at home every night, too.  I was given that choice, and I thank God for it, so that I can see you more.  So... here's to more dinners as a family, more "catch the ball"  in the driveway, and more bedtime stories.  But please, can I tell you a different story than the Three Little Pigs?  Red Riding Hood?  Goldilocks and the Three Bears?  Anything by Michael Crichton?  Nope, okay, the Three Little Pigs it is...

"Once upon a time, there were three little pigs..."

Love, Daddy

Forrest Gump

Dear Maddie,

You may be the next coming of Forrest Gump.  And as my child, you WILL watch that movie at some point in your childhood (or it will be on cable a billion times and you'll see it there).  Anyway, I don't mean you'll have an IQ of 75 (I hope not) or that you'll be a kick returner for the University of Alabama.  No - but you like running.  Everywhere.  Tonight, just for kicks, you decided to run to the end of the street and back.  I'm thankful that right now my walking stride matches your fastest run, but you are a quick little thing.  Everywhere Forrest went he ran - I think you'd do the same if we let you.

I wouldn't mind if you became insanely rich like Gump and we didn't have to worry about money anymore.  Please, by all means be like him in that regard, too.  But I do wonder what you'll grow up to be one day.  Are you going to be an accountant?  You are really into counting and organizing right now.  Will you be a teacher?  You're already good at telling me to stop talking when you're trying to watch Sofia the First.  Dietitian like your mom?  Higher education professional like dad?  If you keep on your current track, I wonder if there is a lucrative career in putting together puzzles?  An engineer! Perfect!

It's exciting and scary to think about the potential you have, mainly because I don't want to think about you growing up yet.  I like my cute, little, curious, energetic, imaginative Maddie.  I like that you want to cuddle on the couch when you're sleepy or some in to our room in the morning to sleep for the last hour or so.  I don't enjoy the feet in the stomach when you sleep sideways, but I digress.  I want to keep you this age forever, but with each new age I like you even more.

So, keep on getting older, but feel free to take your time doing it.  Unlike you're running fascination, no need to go too fast!

Love, Daddy

Night Night

Dear Maddie,

Sometimes you drive me up a wall.  You won't just sit still, you tear up the living room, you won't tell us when you need to potty, and you run screaming through the house while I'm battling a headache.  Then - total redemption via cuteness.

Last night I got home from work and promptly collapsed on the couch, per usual.  You came over and pulled a blanket over me, straightened it out to make sure it totally covered me, and gently (well, not so gently) pushed my head down on the pillow.  You also made me put my phone away.  The whole time you're telling me it is time for "night-night", and then just as I do to you every night at bedtime, you leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek.  Not the first time you've done this, but it never gets old.  Of course, if I dare pop my head up or open my eyes, you remind me loudly "No, daddy, go sleep!"  Funny... that rule doesn't always apply to YOU at nap time!

This was your outfit of choice for our walk.  Mama was obviously not home.  

The rest of last night was spent with just me and you, while mama went to a Bible study. We took a walk down the road with you guiding me which way to go.  Then we played golf in the front yard until you got bored with that.  We retired to the backyard where you ran back and forth, fence to fence, with a seemingly endless supply of energy that I wish I could harness and sell to old people (like myself).  I guess your legs got tired, because I was then tasked with running back and forth with you on my shoulders.  I can run a 5K, but running across the backyard 3 times with you on my shoulders about kills me for some reason!  We took a selfie for mom and then went inside to eat a Moon Pie.  Which you ate the whole thing and didn't give me a bite.

When Mama's away, this happens!

For the rest of the night we got you ready for bed, read a bunch of books, and watched Full House for the bazillionth time.  You finally succumbed to bedtime, so we did our usual routine - brush teeth, said prayers, gave kisses, gave "paci-kisses" (which involve giving my a kiss with your paci in mouth, and you find terribly funny), goodnight hug, and then a good tucking in.  I pulled the blanket over you and made sure you were covered good.  Then I leaned over and gave you a kiss and said "night-night."  You were out in no time at all - surprising considering the sugar intake from the Moon Pie.

You'll never remember last night when you're older except for the pictures and this post, but nights like that are the moments I will cherish forever and never will forget.  It is the part of fatherhood that makes all the times you drive me up a wall totally, 100% worth it.

Love, Daddy

Full House

Dear Maddie,

You have a new love in your life.  And that love comes in the form of Danny, Joey, and Uncle Jesse.  Yes, thanks to Nick at Nite you are now obsessed with the classic 90's show Full House.  I grew up watching this show (every Friday night on TGIF with Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and others).  The fact that you now love it warms my heart.  I think that about 30% of your love is because it is on before bed, so you can use it as an excuse to stay up late, but I'll take it!

Now that we've established Full House as a great show, we need to start working on the others - Saved by the Bell, Boy Meets World, Home Improvement, Friends, and Wings.  The last two may be over your head, but you'll appreciate them later!  We're going to raise you right in this house, so no more Disney channel for you, young lady!  If you're going to spend any time with your Uncle Dave and I, you must be able to sufficiently quote Friends with us.

Fun fact: I recorded the finale of this show on a VHS tape because I wasn't at home when it aired.  Ah, life before DVD, DVR, and OnDemand television.  I'll show you this stuff in an antique museum.

Ah, what will television be like when you're older?  Nowadays there is a bunch of recycled junk, idiot reality shows, a million singing competitions, and NCIS may be in its 38th season (Paw Paw's favorite show).  Some of the best shows are on HBO and Showtime, which I am too cheap to buy, so we stick with AMC shows that come with our cable package.  Remind me when you are older to watch The Walking Dead with you... although you may have watched several episodes as an infant when you didn't know what was going on and we didn't want to wait to see what happened.  Sorry about that if you have a subconscious fear of zombies.  Again, I'll pay for your therapy.

I wonder a lot about what the world will be like when you grow up.  It scares me, because as a professional worrier I see all the bad things that can possibly happen and stay up at night worried about international issues that I can't control.  It's what drives me to make a positive impact on the world, so I can leave it a little better for you then it was for me.  BTW - if I am a Congressman when you grow up, I took the "change the world for the better" thing further than I thought.

So, I hope the world gets better, and you have your own Friends and Full House shows to grow up on and quote incessantly as a young adult with your friends.  And I hope you read this one day, otherwise all this work is just a moo point.  It's like a cows opinion.  It just doesn't matter.

(see Friends to get that joke).

Love, Daddy

Catch You!

Dear Maddie,

I don't have much to say tonight, but you did a darn adorable thing earlier.  I was getting stuff out of the attic and made you stand where I could see you at the bottom of the stairs.  I guess you were worried about your old man up a ladder (and considering Paw Paw's history with ladders, rightfully so), because you came to the bottom, held up your arms, and said "Oh, Daddy, I catch you!"  Trying not to laugh and inadvertently needing to be caught, I said thanks.  I guess you were really hoping for me to fall, because a moment later you impatiently called up "Daddy, I'm ready to catch you!"

I'm glad I didn't need your services this time, because I'm fairly certain that would have ended badly for all if you had to actually catch me. But thanks for always looking out for me!

Love, Daddy

Father's Day

Dear Maddie,

So today I celebrated my third Father's Day, and each year it gets better and better.  Today you (and I think your Mom helped) got me a great little poem, a card, and candy -

Those are Reese's Pieces in the jar - you gave me your Kryptonite, peanut butter!!  That is how much you love me!  And that handprint is just too cute.  You're gonna stay this size, though, right?

I swear, I would have had you ten years ago if a) I had known your mom then, b) I wasn't a moron who didn't need kids, and c) it was physically possible to have exactly you back then.  Even when you drive me up a wall, I love you so darn much it hurts!  I mean, look at this picture we took of you tonight:

Definition: Pure Joy.

I was running you around the yard in your car as you yelled "Go fast, go fast!"  We were careening between your slide and other little car, and you obviously enjoyed it.  I did feel really bad, though, because five second after this I ran you into the fence to be funny (not at full speed, mind you), and you bumped your mouth on the steering wheel.  Three seconds of crying and a kiss to make it "all better" and you were telling me to go fast again.  Mental note - you were resilient at this age!

Currently you're in a phase of getting out of bed and coming to get in bed with us every morning about 4:30.  While this is making me VERY tired the rest of the day and I KNOW you should probably be put back to bed, I just want to soak up the moments you want to snuggle with me.  Ten years from now I might be lucky to get hugs out of a budding teenager, so I'm sorry for any permanent damage I cause from letting you sleep with us for an hour or two every morning.

I'll pay for your therapy, I promise!

Love, Daddy

Frozen

Dear Maddie,

One of your favorite movies right now (and really most every young child's favorite right now) is Frozen, which is actually a really good Disney movie.  Even though you're two, it seems you have the songs down pat.  Even when not watching the movie and listening to the soundtrack in the car, you make all the same comments and gestures that you do while watching it on television.  Today we drove to church singing "Let It Go" together at the top of our lungs.  You even get so into it you'll do a full out close-your-eyes-tight, mouth-wide-open high note.  I'm fairly certain I look ridiculous whilst doing the same thing, but it's fun to do with you.

This is Olaf, a funny little snowman from Frozen and a great way for Disney to make money on merchandising.  It worked well, we bought you a stuffed Olaf.

I'm actually amazed at your memory.  You pick up on TV and movie characters very fast, and you remember places we've been after just going there once.  Heck, you know we are near Paw Paw and GiGi's house by the turn off... a mile away.  If we promise you something like a treat or chocolate, you darn don't forget to remind us of that. And we all know that you can't see a Publix without screaming "COOKIE!"

It's pretty unreal how much you remember stuff.  Of course, we shouldn't be surprised.  Your mom can remember every childhood event from her life, her brother's life, her friends' lives, and anyone who lived within a five-mile radius.  I used to beat my parents at games of "Memory" when I was five, and they claim they never let me win.  So you should have a good memory. I'll remind you of this when you casually "forget" things like chores and curfews in about a dozen years.

This was the original Memory game.  It involved manual labor and not an XBox or iPad, if either of those exist when you ever read this.  By the way, you've been able to operate my cell phone since before you could walk.  GiGi still can't operate her cell phone and she's been able to walk for almost 60 years!

In the meantime, you continue to astound us with how smart you are.  You figure things out like crazy and are not afraid of a challenge.  Like last week you took the string off a balloon and it floated to the top of our very high living room ceiling (by the way - a week later and it is still there).  You promptly began searching for things that could get you closer to that balloon and get it down, all while saying "Oh no, balloooooon!"  Despite your best efforts and limited leaping abilities, the balloon stayed put.  But darnit, you tried!

Oh, we are in trouble, you little creature of habit, because we can't get anything by you. I blame your mom, her memory is better than mine.  However, I take full responsibility for the times you line things up in order of size and color.  You'll grow out of it (maybe)!

I just tucked you in, and you reminded me twenty-two times to be right outside, because I told you I would be a few days ago and now that's a thing!  Now I'm going to go tuck myself in, so when you get up at 5:59 AM I'll be ready.  See you in the morning!

Love, Daddy

The Minion

Dear Maddie,

So, I was watching you play this evening in the backyard, and you were standing on top of your slide that we got you on your 1st birthday.  You had a Minion with you - a tiny, Twinkie shaped yellow doll from the movie Despicable Me.  And you kept dropping the Minion on the ground and yelling "Oh no" like this was a total shock.  You'd retrieve the Minion, wipe him off, and return to the slide to repeat.  But then as you set the Minion on the side of the slide, you miraculously balanced him.  He didn't fall.  You did a double take, paused, and then pushed the poor Twinkie off the slide.  And then you rescued him.

I was silently cracking up as you went through this process, trying not to distract you. But I started to think - I wonder if I'll ever remember this moment to tell you about later on in life when you'll remember it better. Maybe, but since I often forget why I walked into a room, maybe not.  So, I wanted to keep a journal of these things you do.  These things that make your Mom and I laugh, sigh, roll our eyes, or silently scream in frustration.  You do things all the time that are just... funny.  Probably not to the general population (sorry anyone in the general population who stumbled here), but to us at least.  For example...

... the other day we were dancing to the song "Happy" by Pharrell in the kitchen, as you like to do.  You took turns dancing with your Mom and me, and then we all three joined hands for a group dance.  I dared to let go at one point, and you just wouldn't have any of it. So you rejoined all of our hands so that we could continue on until the point of exhaustion.  Note: You had way more energy than both of us as a two-year old.

... you told everyone at a Mexican restaurant that your Paw Paw was in the bathroom peeing.  You say it and it is cute, but if I say it I'm creepy.

... we can't drive within a mile of the local Publix without you reminding us that you get a cookie when you go there.  We also can't go into a Publix without getting you said cookie.  You may turn into a cookie when you get older, we shall see.

... you have a toy cell phone - a flip phone actually.  And your Mom and I obviously have ruined you, because you will take your phone, turn it around to look at the back, and say "CHEEEEEEESSSEE" as if taking a selfie.  You'll then turn your phone back around and say "Awww, cute!!"  I apologize now for ruining you for pictures in your adult life.  But good grief, it is so stinkin hilarious when you do that!

I could go on and on right now about all the things you've done in your 2 years, 95 days, and 11 hours of existence (yep, still have the timer on my phone from your birth countdown).  I won't right now, though.  I hope I can keep up with this idea, create something for you to read when you're older, and put down my thoughts about you while they are still fresh.  I might even let your Mom chime in sometimes.

But if I never write another entry here, and if you read this one day, know that you have shown me a love that I never knew was possible.  And if I had the means, I'd quit my job and play with you all day long.  I want to savor every moment as you quickly grow up on me.  It takes all my will to not let you fall asleep on my shoulder every night, rocking you to your dreams!  God brought you to us for a reason and has great plans for you around here... I can't wait to see you grow up (but am totally okay with that process taking a very, very long time)!

I love you, Boog!

Love, Daddy